A few days ago, while “Facebooking” I accidentally clicked on a link. It was some online shopping site that sells lingerie. Since I had nothing better to do I decided to check out their collections. The first page had pictures of semi-nude women (not that I have a problem with nudity) wearing lacy undergarments and posing (uncomfortably) in a provocative way. They were pretty, but if the intention was to lure people into buying those ridiculously expensive ‘things’ (I don’t know what else I should call them), I’m not sure whether they have succeeded. I wasn’t (in the least) tempted to buy one of those. Of course, they looked good, but I’m not stupid enough to spend a fortune on things that only I (probably my S.O too) would get to see. I moved on to the next page and I got the shock of my life. Cleavage-Enhancing Bras!
As far as I know, cleavages are not ‘real’. Even busty women cannot have the kind of ‘ideal’ cleavage naturally. There is a little distance between breasts for a reason and for God’s (yeah…the non-existent grand old gentleman’s) sake, there is something called ‘gravity’ which pulls things down. Unfortunately, breasts do not have any mutual gravitational force that will keep them stuck together creating that ‘perfect cleavage’ that can be flaunted with low neck tops. And these ‘enhancing’ bras hold the breasts ‘up’ and ‘together’. How painful to wear such a thing for more than a few hours. The bustier the woman, the more painful the whole effort of maintaining that cleavage. In that sense, cleavages are so much like God. Both are created by humans for no apparent logical reason and a lot of money and effort is spent in maintaining the created lie.
That brings another question to my mind. Why wear a bra at all? Whoever said that they give ‘comfort and support’ deserve a painful death and a miserable life before that. They suffocate. Holding ‘up’ something that tends to go ‘down’ naturally cannot be comfortable even if it costs a fortune. And those who are lame enough to believe that breasts will start sagging if one does not wear a bra…well…the non-existent God save them! They probably believe that sporting a ponytail for a long time will make their hair grow upwards. I’m not one of the ‘bra-burning’ feminists who think bras have something to do with patriarchy. Though, I’m a feminist, my hatred for the ridiculous piece of fabric is more because of the discomfort it gives than for other reasons.
By the time I closed the tab and got back to Facebook, one of my friends barged in, asking me to accompany her to a birthday party.
“I can’t come.” I told her.
“I have removed my bra for the day.”
She gave me a disgusted look and left.