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Between the fear of losing
and actually losing
the only reason
for my living,
I would choose
the latter.
Because losing
comes with the reward
of sweet death,
While the fear of losing,
keeps me suspended
in that hazy land
between hope and giving up…
where I constantly oscillate,
from hoping
and living on
to giving up
and giving in
to the tantalizing desire
to end it all
never seeing the worst…


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