The other day somebody asked me, “You call yourself a feminist and believe in equality. Then why do you want a separate queue?”
Before I could answer that, another woman barged in and explained that we need the separate queues and reservations because we have been oppressed since the beginning of times and that we need these privileges in order to catch up with the so-called stronger sex. Sadly, the conversation ended when the person who asked the question walked away with the remark, “Stop playing the victim card.” I didn’t get a chance to explain why feminists prefer separate queues and separate seats in buses.
To be honest most feminists I know don’t give a damn about how we were oppressed in the past. They are not stupid enough to believe that centuries of oppression can actually make a whole group of people ‘backward’ and ‘needy’. And again, feminism isn’t about ‘women’. It’s about ‘gender equality’. I don’t know what others’ take would be on this, but according to my understanding, it wasn’t women that were discriminated against. It was femininity. And it continues.It has always been a discrimination of gender not sex.
Nobody has a problem with women being pilots and scientists. But women who prefer to be home-makers, watch chick flicks and like pink are often made fun of. Not many men have problem dating tomboys. They are more than happy to have a partner who doesn’t spend hours getting ready and someone who can watch a football match with them. But none of the women I know would date a man who likes dressing up like women and prefers rom-coms over superhero movies. That is the problem. Men prefer the masculine. Women prefer the masculine. Empowerment is always misunderstood as the shedding of femininity.
I can’t talk for everyone, but I have stopped being ashamed of my feminine side. I make sure I let people know that I am not a tomboy. I am just shabby and lazy. I enjoy a very few superhero movies and the credit goes to the plot, not the action. I don’t enjoy saas-bahu serials because they are boring. I like reading chick-lits and I still have my collection of Mills and Boon. But I also read classics and other ‘intellectual’ books. I am a sarcastic person who can sometimes be a hopeless romantic.
Coming back to the issue of queues…Yes, I’m a feminist and I want a separate queue because if I share one with men, I get groped and their actions are justified with the ‘provocation’ argument.